On the surface “love” immediately musters up romantic mental images of a perfect life. An image which was embedded early on in life by "the media of the day", in other words love is branded a certain way by the stories, books, newspapers, magazines, television and movies we are exposed to. Those that don’t fit into the popular “brand” of love are excluded, and for the most part ostracized by the rest of society. Love is complex. It’s more than emotions – it actually defines everything we as humans do. It defines where and how our taxes are spent, our tax exemptions, who we can call a spouse, how we get jobs, where we live, and sadly why we go to war – it defines everything.
What happens though when that image is shattered, or at least YOUR image of what love SHOULD be? Take a step back and think about what you would do if everyone around you thought your "brand" of love was dirty. Would you wear it? How would you deal with trying to get acceptance? I was reminded today of how far we have come – and how far we still need to go in terms of acceptance (not tolerance) of the many kinds of love humans share for one another and how intolerant western society used to be, and much of the world still is.
I was watching the Australian movie Holding the Man, it’s a very sad (true) love story set in the 1980’s during the AIDS crisis, of two young men who were madly in love in a society that thought their love was dirty and in fact illegal. It’s also a book for those that care to read it. There were so many parts of the film that are running through my mind but one part is still echoing in my thoughts most likely because it hit a nerve. It’s when John tells his mother that he is in love with Tim.
John: “But mom, I’m in love with him!”
Mother: “Stop upsetting your father”.
It’s a sad day when a son or daughter tells parent that they are in love with someone (who adores them back unconditionally), and the response they get from that parent is a clear rejection of that love. I realize society is like an organism which evolves slowly over time, until sentiment reaches a tipping point. That's when tolerance is at a high enough level for mass media to do its job, and we all know how quickly it can change sentiment in world of lighting fast pokes, likes, posts, snaps and chats. We've also not surprisingly seen huge interest by the corporate world, all jumping on the gay bandwagon.
Sure, the corporate sector is primarily focused on making more profit, but if that's what it takes to continue to evolve our narratives I think it's a small price to pay - especially if it results in individuals being accepted for who they are, and the differences they exhibit are celebrated instead of hated. I put a name to my being gay at the age of 16 (I always knew I was, I just didn’t know what it was called) I grew up in the 1980's, hit adulthood in the 1990's and I loved living in a city that was cool and accepting, but it wasn’t always that way (and it some parts still isn’t).
Most heterosexuals can't possibly understand the level and severity of discrimination the LGBT community has endured. For the generation of gay men and women that preceded me, things were very difficult, and to them I want to say thank you. Thank you for your bravery, thank you for fighting and continuing to fight to re-brand love to include all of humanities expressions.
